just_karyn | HUGE PROBLEM---NEED ADVISE!!! (Reply)

The background...

My step son was 6 when my husband and I got married. He is now 23. We have always had a hard time communicating. We have always locked horns so to speak. About 7 or 8 years ago his mom stopped coming to see Nick and his brother. We have always had custody of them. I was rather hard on both the boys, holding them to a higher standard of behavior. Trying to make them responsible. Nick resents that to this day. His brother Jeff and I have a good relationship and Jeff would tell you that he is a better person because of my influence. Nick would rather I just left him alone I think.

Now...

He is getting married to a girl we like a lot. I have always been kind to her. She has been rather cold to me, due to what Nick may have told her about our difficulties. Even a simple question to Nick always results in an argument between us.

The problem...

Nick and Carissa asked me if I would make their wedding invitations for them. I told them that I would make them, but that they would need to help as well. 200 invitations with a muti-step process. I said that they could help assemble them with me. Their wedding is Feb. 14, 2004. Last night Nick comes over and asks me if I have the invitations done. I said, well no, because the wedding isn't until February. I had shown him the sample invitation about 3 weeks ago and they both liked it. He proceeds to tell me that he wants to send them out within the next week because Carissa has an A list and a B list of people and needs time to get the first responses back. I pointed out that...1-That wedding invitations don't go out 3 months before the wedding. 2-That would mean putting a different response date on some and is a hassle. 3-That I told them initially that they needed to help do these. 4-No one ever told me when they wanted them done by. My plan was to have them done by the end of December. He then responds that he is going to start calling people to see if they will be able to come. I told him that you don't call people to invite them to your wedding. At which point, he walked upstairs to where his dad was.

Then...They talked to my husband for a little bit and then I heard them tell him goodbye and leave. Not another word to me.

So, I had had a horrible day up til that point and that just made it worse. So, I started to cry. Not a lot, just a few tears in my eyes. I was tired anyway, so I went to bed.

Well...my husband is mad. He is royally ticked! He told me today that I am not to order the supplies to make the invitations. He is going to tell them to figure it out on their own. He says "No one will make you cry again!" Well, I had already ordered the supplies this morning before I talked to him. I told him that I think we need to find a middle ground. That I will do the invitations, with their help, but that they can't expect to have them done in a week. He says no, they will have to figure out how to get them done themselves. And, he goes on to say that he is going to give Nick and Carissa both an ear full because how dare they treat me like that.

So...what am I going to do???? I need advise. I don't want to start a huge war...I just would like a little respect. I don't want to be taken advantage of. Am I totally wrong????

If you are still reading at this point...Thank You!!!